Two Weeks!

July 29, 2013


I was told it’s like uprooting a big grand mugumo tree.  It feels like it’s coming up little by little.  The ground around me is a mess.  But it has to be a mess.  Nobody else can help me do the uprooting.  They all said time makes it easier.  It does.  It doesn’t just disappear, but every day, I find a remember something new.  Remember myself and my worth and the fact that I’m better than some of those moments.  When I speak to him and he says stupid things like he wants to be who he was 6 years ago.  My soul says no.  No I will not be with a person that weak.  It hurts and hurts to come to terms with the fact that I loved him, still love him and it’s unhealthy.  It’s taken it’s toll and is still taking it’s toll.  There is an internal struggle in me because I know I deserve so much more and yet he makes me week and my heart wants to be with him.  But they say clean cuts work best.  Making a clean break.  Just cut him out.  It doesn’t make it easier when I bump into his mother at the shopping mall.  So here is to a little faith that it all works out in the end somehow.


“It takes a lot more courage to let something go than it does to hang on to it, trying to make it better. Letting go doesn’t mean ignoring a situation. Letting go means accepting what is, exactly as it is, without fear, resistance, or a struggle for control. Letting go means standing still and letting the world, or a piece of it, crumble at your feet while saying to yourself, “Mmmm, that’s interesting!”

~Iyanla Vanzant



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