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what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger…

June 4, 2013

So my lifelong question with relationships is how do you know when enough is enough?  How do you balance being there for them and “us” and being there for you.  When does it get to the point when you really just need to be selfish and leave as much as that is hard.  Which contradicts the selfishness since you would go through the hurt and the pain.  But I guess for the long term it would be better.

When they say hurtful things without knowing and you know they didn’t mean to be hurtful, but they were and it hurt and despite it not being their intention, it hurt.  How do you deal with ego’s that in your mind should be put aside for love but still keep showing their head when things get rough.

How do you not keep repeating yourself but at the same time make them understand because they are caught in this cycle of what they think is happening and won’t for two minutes just stop and remove themselves from the eye of the storm and try see things from a different perspective?

What do you do when other people make him happy.  Because other people are not there through the storms and really don’t know everything.  When you can’t make him happy anymore because you remind him of all the sad things going on.

When he wants to spend time with random friends at parties because it’s easier not to think of things with them, but you make him think of things because you worry and you ask and you know what is going on so of course you are going to worry and you are going to ask.

When you love someone enough to not want to be there and watch them go through this but then that may be selfish because you not watching doesn’t mean they are not going through it.  When they make it clear that you are together and they are just going through something but then do everything humanly possible to push you away.  Let’s not even get into the deflecting of anger!  When they could be focusing on them but they are focusing on you and the fights.

So for now, I am trying….no like really trying to just live my life and hope that doesn’t build up my walls again.  And heck whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger right? right? RIGHT??

 

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