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August 21, 2007

For some reason I feel soooo out of everything today.  It’s almost as if my brain circuits are on “we just don’t feel like it today” mode!  Even my boss asked if I was ok after he asked me to make him some copies.  I did and gave them to him and he smirks and asks if I was ok.  So first thing that comes to my mind is he asked me to bind all the documents as one…but apparently not…so…uhm…there I am wondering why I shouldn’t be ok…but clearly I wear all my expressions on my face and he says I just look zoned out and out there.   I feel that way…I just didn’t think I looked the part as well.  So there I went, brushed it off and said, I’m great and he replies…must be one of those days.  I guess…So I looked at myself in the mirror and I do look the the part as far as zoning out is concerned.  My eyes don’t have the usual spark and I just look like I need a re-boot to my day.

So then it got me thinking.  Why do we have to go with the norm and reply to queries of how we are with “very well thank you”.  What if when he asked me if I was fine this morning I replied with the truth – “well, I’ve got my period, I hate my other boss coz he keeps making snide remarks, I wish I was soaking up the sun outside with a tall glass of lemonade, but the sun won’t even shine on me through the window in that little dingy work station, probably coz I don’t have a window, I feel burned out, I hit my ankle rushing out of the house this morning and it hurts like hell, I didn’t feel like combing my hair, I’ve got nothing to wear for the wedding I’m going to on Saturday, I don’t even have time to bond with my friends anymore, I miss grey’s anatomy and I hate Kenyan roads”….thats how I’m feeling.  He would then go on to use that as confirmation that I am indeed weird and thus incompetent to handle any tasks of substance.  So instead, I put on a smile – well more like raised the corners of my mouth and said “I’m fine!”

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5 comments

  1. If only we could…but i am fine… 🙂


  2. {{{Kips}}}


  3. It’s just one of those things that we’re programmed to reply. Coz imagine if everyone you met in one day REALLY told you how they’re doing!! Wouldn’t that be quite a handful?


  4. Hope today is better and that you are “fine”.


  5. Pole for the blues, we all have our days/moments.
    When people ask you how you’re doing, they’re also asking out of habit and don’t give a rat’s ass how you really are doing. Hence, we all walk around performing our daily ritual of pretending to care about the other person, with the person pretending right back.



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