h1

February 2, 2007

So I just watched the last kiss.  Such a chick flick…so this dude sits on the porch for like two days, rain, sun, night, day, he sat through it waiting for forgiveness….yeah like that happens!  Don’t think my porch is going to have any of that happening.  So it was just a typical chick flick.  And I remembered what its like to be all in love and walking on sunshine…too roo roo…remember the song…all the “I love you”‘s, and just feeling all glowy and happy with everything.  I feel like such a cold hearted, hard excuse for a human being, I just function these days.  With no emotion.  As much as I miss that sometimes…the having someone to talk to all the time, getting hugs and random kisses, holding someone’s hand, etc etc…I just don’t need it!  It comes with so much attached to it and sometimes I just felt like running away from everything and now, I just am.  I’m just here.  But I do not for the life of me let anyone anywhere near my emotions.  It’s as if in some strange way at this point in my life, the whole love, relationship thing is way too out there a concept for me…it’s like trying to fathom something like 23532543345435 trillion dollars.  You just can’t.  Well if your a starving student like I am u definately can’t.  Just a concept thats way too random and radical and strange to get a grip of.  And I just don’t want any of it.  Funny though, this time when I was home, someone made a comment like, it’s expected that people get married…and I was like “what”, says who? and my mum was like, “excuse me, do you want to get old when you’re lonely”?  No but I certainly don’t want to get old with some person for the sake of being together and there just isn’t anything anymore.  That’s it.  Marriage just puts a fullstop on things.  Just like that.  Suddenly you have to take another person into consideration when you do any small thing.  You can’t have pinks in your bedroom cause you have a husband sleeping in there with you and the same for guys, you can’t have like I don’t know, engines and spare parts in your room coz you’ve got a wife in there.  Yes yes, I know, that’s where this concept of love comes in.  And it should supercede all that, but hmmm!  Then again, maybe I need to be swept off my feet by someone.  Then again, maybe not just yet…

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5 comments

  1. Lovely photo!!I was telling one of my friends how I have become so accustomed to my own space that I would have a difficult time adjusting to allowing someone into it!!! However, by the same token, I miss having someone to hang out with and all that good stuff!! I guess when you meet the right person you won’t feel like they are invading your space or life!!!


  2. Nice pic! I have to admit that the whole marriage gig is over rated. Not a bad thing but def over rated. I am alot like Princess in that I am used to my own space and even when I am with someone I feel the need to pull away and be on my own very often and that is not a good thing for marriage at all!


  3. i think marriage only makes sense when you meet the right person, ofcourse you have to be right yourself, which is what most people forget. Just like a beautiful garden, a marriage needs work so that is can be ‘pleasing’ to both parties. But aco, i disagree with your last statement that pulling away and being on your own is not a good thing. Quite the contrary, the partners need to pull away and be their own person , otherwise there will be chaos..my 2 cents


  4. Cool pic.

    Marriage. One more reason not to see my mum/aunts for the next two years. I have nothing against it. I have tried and failed at imagining myself hooked up. Main issue is my space, my time, my stuff – selfish I know, but it just is. Maybe one day….just maybe.


  5. The marriage thing…not too sure about that…probably do the AG thing…maybe…space IS an issue…a pal suggested you can be ‘alone’ sitting with your boo…how?



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